“I just feel like crying!”

This was the first Thanksgiving in 44 years that Ross didn’t spend it with his family.

He was the first to go down for the count with what was later diagnosed as a bad case of Influenza. I followed with a much milder case but was still contagious so the two of us stayed home while the rest of the family ate together and celebrated at his second son’s house.

My hubby loves his family and holidays, so this year Thanksgiving was a sad day for him.

His words crashed into my heart as I considered the disappointment in his eyes. Add to that  the church merger that brings with it new traditions over the holiday season … everything will be different. That could easily make us sad too.

Holidays are rough, there I said it.

But holidays with change and uncertainty and loss and transition are especially so. Because we work hard to create traditions and make memories, and then when a significant person is no longer in the picture or there is changing out old traditions for new ones … it can hurt!

My heart tightens in my chest as I consider all the times I’ve glibly wished someone “Happy Thanksgiving” or “Merry Christmas” when they were likely not happy or merry. I think I’m going to start a new tradition. I’m going to switch out that greeting with some conversation starters like:

How are the holidays for you?

Or maybe:

Is this time of year ever hard for you or your family?

At least then I might get an authentic response and know how to pray for the person.

I think I’m also talking to myself a little, knowing that the one-year anniversary of my brother’s suicide is coming up on Christmas eve. Trying to prepare my heart for the sadness to come, the grief that comes out in my life as either working to distract myself or detaching.

Then I’ll probably say to my love, “I feel like crying.” And it will be a time to process the pain as best we can and remember the good times. Jesus meets us in those bittersweet moments and brings the comfort only He can bring. So we can do the same for others.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. (2 Cor. 1:3-4 NLT)

So, friend, I pose those same questions to you…

How are the holidays for you? Is this time of year ever hard for you or your family?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and then perhaps we can encourage one another as we move into full swing!

Thanks for spending some time with me today.

Athena